I’ve wanted to blog about this for quite a while, but haven’t done so until now, I put off blogging about this for perhaps longer than I should have because I was unsure of how to talk about this without sounding bitter, but this is my blog and as hard as I try, I can’t be positive all the time, so I’m just going to go ahead and plunge in and let the chips fall where they may.
April 2014 will mark the two year anniversary of my Father’s passing. From the time that he had his initial stroke which led to all the tests that eventually led to his cancer diagnosis, and indeed through the process of his battle with it and through the first year after his death, my family and I had amazing support, and I am in no way ungrateful for that. However, right after the first anniversary of his passing, I noticed that I could no longer get hold of some of the very same people who said that if I needed to talk, they would be there at any time, At first, I chalked this up to my just not being able to get hold of them at the correct time, as in, just always happening to call when they were out or just generally being caught up in the busyness that is life. I can no longer do that though, because this pattern has continued to this date. Lest anyone thinks I am directing this post at anyone in particular, I assure you I’m not, although I can certainly see how it might come across as though I am. Some of the people whom I haven’t been able to get in touch with but were there with me throughout this process have since reached out to me and explained why they haven’t been in touch as much, and once I knew their circumstances, whatever they happened to be, I understood completely.
However, most of the people that were so supportive in the beginning have now dropped off the radar, and it angers me. It angers me because it has shown me what a fucked up view society has when it comes to the concept of grieving. Why do people insist on trying to put a time limit on grief? Why does there seem to be a cut off date when it comes to the amount of time people will give support to those who are grieving? I will also say that I am in fact angry at those who have dropped off the radar without a word because it makes me feel that those who said they would be there for me but no longer are were not sincere when they said that in the first place.