Comparing my experience to other’s experience


Some, if not all of you know what I experienced as a child. I’ve struggled, and very much continue to struggle with comparing my experience with what has happened to others. I know intellectually that I shouldn’t compare my experience with abuse to other’s experiences, but for some reason I can’t get what my head knows to connect with my heart and emotions. While I don’t question that what happened to me was in fact abuse, when I hear about or read other’s stories about what their experience with abuse was, I often say to myself: “This makes what happened to me look tame in comparison.” Or something similar. Many have said to me that no experience is more valid than anyone else’s and again, I know this to be true on an intellectual level, but cannot get it to resonate with me on an emotional level. I also know without a doubt that this is something I need to work on, but I’m unsure how to go about stopping myself from making comparisons between mine and other’s abuse experiences. Any suggestions would be welcomed. 


2 thoughts on “Comparing my experience to other’s experience

  1. Argh! Just wrote a long comment and lost it 😦 I’ll write a shortened one and if you want to chat at some point on fb then we can do xx
    What I was saying is that in some respects the abusive act is irrelevant. It is the feelings within us that it brings forward that matters. I was having these same thought patterns last night too- I suspect triggered by what triggered you perhaps. It is hard to not look down on our experiences but the feelings are the same and back then, feelings are all we had. We had no objective outside look, we had no comparisons, all we had was terror and pain and right, how are we going to survive this, at a very subconscious level. I’m with you on this one though xx

  2. Hi,
    I totally get what you mean here. I believe I went through tons of abuse growing up, yet I still feel like others had it worse than I did. However, I’ve heard that it’s not so much what a person went through as it is about how they’re dealing with it today and how much it is crippling their current lives today as adults. One of the biggest things I dealt with was that there was NO BODY there to help me. I was totally on my own… alone.

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